Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
