Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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