Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i now understand why vodka
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
