I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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