he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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