Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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