just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
