Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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