a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
