would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
