Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
