And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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