He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
