I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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