Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
