Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I will die if light touches me.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
