Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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