Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
