Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
