it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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