The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just threw up on my dentist
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
