ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
