He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
