He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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