I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
