He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize