The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
