She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
