oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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