How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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