She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Its about making memories worth repressing
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
