as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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