mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
