I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
