You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
