kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize