Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
