I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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