We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
