It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
