very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Farmville is her only friend.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize