i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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