i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
