i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
