Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
