Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
