Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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