ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you had me at cake vodka
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
