That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
