Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
