I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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