I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
