I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
