Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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