Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
