wanna go halves on a baby?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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