I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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