oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize