You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
