Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
